Remind Me Who I Am

"When I lose my way and I forget my name, remind me who I am. In the mirror all I see is who I don't wanna be, remind me who I am. In the loneliest places, when I can't remember what grace is."

I heard these lyrics recently playing from my phone as I washed the dishes one day. It had been over a year since I last heard this once beloved song. While it may seem like a random probability this song would pop up among the hundreds of other songs on my playlist, I oftentimes find that God has a way of intervening, whether through a song, person, or book, at exactly the right time with exactly the right message. And so He did.

This song, "Remind Me Who I Am" by Jason Gray, first came to me during my sophomore year of college when I was writing my first talk for a retreat. After a rather challenging freshman year, I found myself standing in a place where I needed to be reminded of who I was: a beloved child of God. While there were certainly other aspects that made up who I was, this one truth was and is the foundation from which everything else stands. If this foundation ever shakes, the rest crumbles. Now, I knew I was loved, but in the midst of the craziness and newness of college, I forgot. In the process of being pulled and tugged in different directions, I forgot the foundation from which I stood. In a whirlwind of loneliness and insecurity, I found my self getting lost in a menagerie of identities I could embody. I was left wondering who the real me was. With the help of friends, mentors, prayer, and community, I was reminded of the simple, yet hard to believe at times, truth that I am unconditionally loved by God. With this truth, the true me was able to blossom. I was not afraid to step out of my comfort zone, take risks, be vulnerable, or fail because at the very end of the day, even with all my mess and mistakes, I was still loved. Believe me, owning this belovedness (in other words our lovability) is no easy work and it is not always felt, but daily small reminders keep my foundation solid. 

I realize the identity dilemma I faced was far from unusual because many brave souls have stepped into the battlefield of college and grappled with similar trials. I will say, however, I did graduate with a stronger sense of who I am. This does not mean that I now have it all together. I have often heard it said that we, as humans, need to be reminded more than instructed. While I am done with being instructed by my professors and mentors for the time being, the reminders are still essential because the pulling and tugging and craziness of life doesn't stop once you enter the so-called "real world." We face new opportunities, disappointments, transitions, milestones, hurts, failures, losses, joys, successes, and heart breaks that change us. It is in the midst of these changes that we can forget who we truly are and where our foundation is, hence the need for reminders. 

So back to me washing the dishes. Don't worry there is a point to all of this. There I was, washing my neglected dishes and standing in a place overwhelmed with the craziness of life. Feeling brokenhearted from a past change, my foundation was, needless to say, shaken. Hearing Jason Gray sing the above lyrics, along with "I'm the one you love, that will be enough," brought a smile to my face for I was reminded of my belovedness. Granted this moment faded, but since then, I have made an effort to remind myself of my belovedness every day. My reminders include prayer, gratitude practices, coffee dates with friends, sitting on a bench overlooking the bay (#USDlife), reading a good book, and anything else that allows me to enter the divine presence and be filled with that unconditional love. Today, I invite you to make a list of the things in your life that remind you of who you are. Then I challenge you to do one of those things each day. Life will always be a bit cray cray, but it doesn't have to shake the person you are. Be reminded. You are loved.