“My Lord
God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I
cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the
fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am
actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact
please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I
will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you
will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore
will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of
death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me
to face my perils alone.”
― Thomas Merton, Thoughts
in Solitude
If you asked me how I felt about my life lately, I’d probably
give you a paraphrase of the above quote. It’s no coincidence that I’d find
comfort in the words of Thomas Merton, while I find myself reaching a
crossroads and not knowing what direction I should take in the next chapter of
my life. It seems to me like Thomas Merton really understood what it felt like
to be lost, to not know what the future had in store for you, or wonder if the
road you were on was the one God would want for your life. If I’m being
completely honest, I’ve been really struggling lately and feeling these same
thoughts of uncertainty. Sometimes when I’m alone, I think to myself “I have no
idea what I am doing with my life or what the point to any of this is!” The
truth is, I feel like I’ve spent the last year of my life keeping my head above
water, but never really thriving or growing, just maintaining and going through
the necessary motions in order to get through the day to day. This is not how I
would like to live my life, so I’ve finally accepted that I need to make some
changes in order to get to a point where I feel like I am thriving and doing
things that help make me the best version of myself.
Deciding
to make a change is easy, knowing where to start and what changes to make, not
as much. But Merton answered that
question for me in the above quote when he says:
“I trust you always though
I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are
ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.”
You see Merton may have known
what it felt like to be lost, but he also knew the importance of trusting in
the Lord and turning to God for direction. After all, Jesus never leaves our
side. He is with us through are ups and downs, our successes and our failures;
even if we somehow find ourselves on the wrong path in life, we must remember
that we are never alone. Jesus is always with us to redirect our life, offer us
second chances, and even forgive our mistakes. Thomas Merton helped me realize
that the best thing to do when you feel lost, or on the wrong path in life, is
to turn to Jesus and ask for assistance or guidance.
Jesus
tells us in John 10:10 “I came that you might have life and have it more
abundantly.” Think about it, we have a God that loved us so much He was willing
to die for us. That same God, wants us to have an abundant life and be the best
that we can be. Jesus will always answer us when we call out for help or ask
for direction because He loves us and He wants to help us reach our full
potential. We don’t have to have our lives figured or have everything together
in order to follow Jesus, we just have to love Him and have a desire to please
Him and do His will and the will of His Father. Merton says
“I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please
you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will
never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will
lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it.”
I’ve realized that the best thing I can do
for my current situation is work on my relationship with God, and live with a
desire to please Him in everything that I do. I believe that if I let Jesus and
my faith become the foundation of my life, everything else will fall into
place. I can live in hope that things will turn out fine in this next chapter
of my life, because Jesus is with me and will never leave me to face my perils
alone. All I have to do is continue to follow His light, to call on His name if
I ever I feel lost, and to live with a desire to please Him and want to do His
will all the days of my life. If you find yourself in a place where you feel
lost, don’t be afraid to ask God to shine His light on you. Remember
“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it” –John 1:5
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